A.R.S.E.

hadnt seen many of these

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
>Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices
Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an an occasional ice cold shower...
Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."

Marelli and Ducellier could be switched for those as well.

Did you have to remind me that I have a 1976 Rover 3500 still in my parents shed awaiting some restoration?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

My dad used to run a fleet of old British limos that he used for weddings. He utterly hated Lucas... He showed me the main electrical box on one of the cars, the wiring was a joke.

Montey wrote:Did you have to remind me that I have a 1976 Rover 3500 still in my parents shed awaiting some restoration?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

One of our clients is an elderly dude who owns over 500 Rovers (yes, five hundred) and he seems to enjoy tinkering with them but does often point out how bad the electrics are.

Lol... There used to be two large Lucas manufacturing plants in my hometown. Now, one of them is manufacturing aerospace frame parts so maybe think twice before you get on an Airbus

...and the reason why we drink warm beer is because that's how it's meant to be drunk, not like nancy Lager and it's effin freezing over here for 10 months of the year.

I like this one