The short joke topic!

[Rots]

coopz & VT.

[Vilante]

[Big Kev]

Bartender says "We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos in here."

A faster-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.

[w00dsy]

Bartender says "We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos in here."

A faster-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.

Lol

[doug99]

Bartender says "We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos in here."

A faster-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.

Lol

Damn! I observed the punchline and altered the outcome!

[DexterPunk]

Bartender says "We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos in here."

A faster-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.

Haha! Love it... And stealing it.

[w00dsy]

love this short joke

[youtube] [/youtube]

[Santaria]

love this short joke

[youtube] [/youtube]

For those who didn't quite understand, Like me and the Mrs: "Venison's dear, isn't it?"

[w00dsy]

love this short joke

[youtube] [/youtube]

For those who didn't quite understand, Like me and the Mrs: "Venison's dear, isn't it?"

Or venison's deer isn't it.

[Santaria]

Jimmy Carr's shortest joke in the world: Midget Shortage

[Big Kev]

Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the fuck out of this idiot at a party. In my defence…when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in

[Vilante]

What did the father say to the pedophile at the beach?

Get out of my sun.

[Big Kev]

I bought an iPhone, Steve Jobs dies.

I bought the Blackberry, BBM dies.

Now going to buy the album of Justin Bieber

[Big Kev]

A man is too nervous to be at the birth of his first child so he goes to the pub instead. After ringing the hospital several times to be told, not yet, not yet, he gets a bit carted while waiting and calls the cricket ground by mistake and gets a bit of a shock.

'What's the score?', he says
'All 10 are out and the last 2 were ducks'

[Big Kev]

Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction.
-----------------------------
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers ........ so I did.... she's 21 and her name's Lucy
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My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking ........ and then I saw her face.
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My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a splint out of a couple of matches, his little face lit up when he tried to walk.. unfortunately, I forgot to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.
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I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful bleeders. All I said was, 'hurry up for goodness sake, some of us have got homes to go to!'
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I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters!'
-----------------------------
Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!'
Show bosses think she will do really well since she's been living off a dead Beatle for the last thirty years.

[Vilante]

Those are awesome Kev, I'll be using those on the old book of face

[Big Kev]

The government have advised people to watch out that they're not being sold fake 2012 Olympic tickets.

I think I'll be all right though. My tickets for the men's wheelchair triple jump seem genuine enough.

[durbster]

Might as well throw in a few from Tim Vine

--

I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.

I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue and I couldn't put it down.

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.

When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely"... It's a basic skill isn't it....

Exit signs - they're on the way out aren't they?

[matticooper]

Here's a Dad one...

The ghost of Gloria Gaynor appeared at the end of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified....

[c.j]

And Elephant asked a Camel "Why are your breasts on your back?".

"Well," said the Camel "I think that is an entirely inappropriate question from somebody who has a dick on their face."

[NeilPearson]

haha

[w00dsy]

What's something that 9 out of 10 people enjoy?




Gang rape

[NeilPearson]

haha

Seriously that is wrong!

[w00dsy]

yep, very

[Big Kev]

Not so much a straight joke but we did get this work email today....

A pair of 'Batman' gents' undergarments has been found in the WIMM. If you have lost this item, please contact reception.

I'd like to point out, they're not mine!