The Official ARSE Ashes Thread

Sterling · Post by **Sterling** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:44 am

Looks like the 5th test is almost done and whilst I'm very pleased with the result I can't help but feel a little sad that the series is over....it seemed to go so quickly.

Exar Kun · Post by **Exar Kun** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:44 am

Jesus - what happened to that English team of 2005!?!?!?!

Going by previous tours I was at least hoping for some sort of fight at the SCG. But the team only seems to have gotten worse since that final day at Adelaide.

Montey · Post by **Montey** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:52 am

Just turned the TV to watch the cricket this morning, and I see England are 9 wickets down with a lead of 21.

That's the nice thing about England, they keep it entertaining. It's always a question that is forever being investigated, "Just how badly can England SUCK at Cricket?!?!?!?!?"

Evidently the answer is, "A hell of a lot!!!!"

Vilante · Post by **Vilante** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:54 am

Langer to bowl!!!

Then McGrath and Warney to open the batting!!

C'MON!!

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:09 am

matticooper · Post by **matticooper** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:34 am

for a bunch of oldies... not a bad result at all

Montey · Post by **Montey** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:57 am

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Post by **Hz-Lab** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:23 pm

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

Vilante · Post by **Vilante** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:35 pm

There's so many unhappy backpackers in Bondi today

Go you good thing!

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:44 pm

Its pretty obvious that England came into this series half arsed and had their arses handed to them. So well done Australia.... But we will get you next time.

Exar Kun · Post by **Exar Kun** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:55 pm

Wouldn't it be more accurate to say that Australia went into the last series half-arsed and now we've just restored the status quo?

Sterling · Post by **Sterling** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 1:27 pm

At least when the Aussies played like crap in the last series we were still in with a chance of winning the series right up to the last day of the final test.....

Vilante · Post by **Vilante** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 1:54 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Its pretty obvious that England came into this series half arsed and had their arses handed to them. So well done Australia.... But we will get you next time.

Stop being gracious in defeat, it's no fun!

Post by **norbs** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:01 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Its pretty obvious that England came into this series half arsed and had their arses handed to them. So well done Australia.... But we will get you next time.

Even with out Warne, Pidgeon, the brown nosed Gnome and probably Hayden and Gilly, I reckon the phsycological damage done this series will stay with the English pea hearts for some time yet.

Only the 2nd whitewash in Ashes history. Both by the same country by the way.

England just scrape home for a 2-1 Ashes win and they get knighted by a desperate head of state looking desperately for some good news. I wonder what riches will bestowed upon those that vanquished those cocky no bodies?

A couple of telling stats.

5 Aust (Hussey 91.6, Ponting 82.3, Clarke 77.8, Symmonds 58.0 and Hayden 51.6) and 1 English (Pietersen 54.4) averaged over 50 for the series.

7 Aust batsmen scored 9 Centuries whilst 3 English scored 3 centuries.

Only 2 English bowlers had economy rates under 4 runs per over (Flintoff 3.5 and Harmisson 3.6). Only 1 Aust bowler had an economy rate of over 4 per over (Hussey bowled 1 over for 5 runs).

The 2 gun all rounders for England failed. Pieterson batted ok, averaging 54.4, but only scored at 48.6/100 balls. He bowled 29 overs for no wickets and went for over 4 per over. Flintoff, weighed down by the captaincy role, scored 254 at 28 and his bowling, albeit statistically the teams best, was ordinary. 11 wickets at 43.

I wont even go into the the disgrace that was the English tail enders (the last 4 never combined for more than 50 from memory) , but will say that the Australian tail enders batted like demons.

Now, lets compare the last 2 series. 1 win by each team.

2005.

1st Test - Lord's
Australia won by 239 runs Convincing win

2nd Test - Edgbaston
England won by 2 runs England just scrape home

3rd Test - Old Trafford
Match Drawn Lee and McGrath hold on for a draw

4th Test - Trent Bridge
England won by 3 wickets A win, but hardly a thrashing

5th Test - The Oval
Match Drawn Dead rubber and dull draw in the end

2006.
1st Test - Brisbane
Australia won by 277 runs Convincing win

2nd Test - Adelaide
Australia won by 6 wkts Considering the English declared in the 1st dig, a great win

3rd Test - Perth
Australia won by 206 runs A big win

4th Test - Melbourne
Australia won by an inns and 99 runs An embaressment to the English

5th Test - Sydney
Australia won by 10 wickets Another flogging

No need to explain the differances there.

This series, although hyped to the max, was a dud as far as a competition goes. There was some fantastic cricket played from both sides at times, but the fact is, the Aussies won 90% of the battles. England need to go home and take a good look at a few things in my mind. Sack Fletcher. If Vaughan isnt fit, reinstate Strauss as captain. Do some fielding practice. Get the bowlers to harden up and get some runs. And give back their knighthoods.

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:05 pm

You know what the problem was.... Channel nine had the coverage. Its been shit for years, it goes to SBS because nine thinks its shit and we get one of the greatest test serieses of all time. Then it goes back to nine and its shit again.

Having said that England should never have lost the Adelaide test. That was a real fuck up. In fact England fucked up from the start and rightly deserved to be flogged.
As to their Knighthood, I believe it was really for giving the country some hope after the terrorist attacks.

Dan · Post by **Dan** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:29 pm

Can you imagine if all of the Australian side had a tash :O would of been a slaughter house!

Enforcer-J · Post by **Enforcer-J** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:57 pm

fourthof5 wrote:As to their Knighthood, I believe it was really for giving the country some hope after the terrorist attacks.

How does that work?

Johnny X · Post by **Johnny X** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:49 pm

Glad thats over....... Grats Oz.

Post by **Bauer** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 7:46 pm

to the poms. thanks for the memories

to the claytons poms, i hope brazil can provide a win for you soon

Post by **Big Kev** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 7:50 pm

Exar Kun wrote:Jesus - what happened to that English team of 2005!?!?!?!

I think the whole of England would like to know that.

It's interesting that after last summer the Aussies said 'we'll learn from this and come back better'. Today the English guys are just saying that they're proud of how they played and the Aussies were a better team. Where's the fighting spirit gone?

Fair play to the Aussies though, they played better in every quarter of the field. We didn't deserve to win any of the matches. I don't think we got to 50 in any test without losing a wicket and the last 5 wickets never got 50 between them. We have to learn what went wrong and do something about it.

r8response · Post by **r8response** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 8:20 pm

Big Kev wrote:We have to learn what went wrong and do something about it.

Get John Buchanan?

Montey · Post by **Montey** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:46 pm

Big Kev wrote:
Exar Kun wrote:Jesus - what happened to that English team of 2005!?!?!?!
I think the whole of England would like to know that.

I think I know the answer to that question.

They left a key group of team members back in England.

The only problem then is, the English curators aren't allowed to touch any other country's grounds.

Nigel · Post by **Nigel** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:52 am

Bauer wrote:to the poms. thanks for the memories

to the claytons poms, i hope brazil can provide a win for you soon

Bah.

9ra55h0ppaH · Post by **9ra55h0ppaH** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:19 pm

Bauer wrote:to the claytons poms, i hope brazil can provide a win for you soon

SERVED!

personally, i think the cricket is one of channel 9's strong points, seems pretty well presented to me... certainly better than the AFL

lets hope the 1 dayers are a bit better to watch than the test matches, perhaps the poms might have a bit better luck going for the tonk instead of being "conservative" and lucky to score 2 runs an over during a 5 day match, not that being conservative helped them (or that the game lasted 5 days...)

Enforcer-J · Post by **Enforcer-J** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:22 pm

fourthof5 wrote:Bah

Hehe, that's a fair few bah's in this thread mate, sure you're not a New Zealander?